Complications

Almost immediately after James was born, they took him away and sent him to the "nursery." I'm not sure why they call it the "nursery" instead of the NICU. Nursery sounds better, but the name is misleading. James started out in the level 1 nursery which is less intense, but was moved to the level 2 nursery which is more serious. James was never able to be in our room with us or leave the nursery during our hospital stay. They eventually took the little crib out of our room because he would never be with us. This was good for sleeping at night, but bad for my emotions.

He faced some problems that are outlined below... 

Breathing
James was early and I think this helps explain why he struggled with breathing. I wasn't allowed to hold James while they figured out what was going on which was basically the entire first day. This was extremely hard and being hormonal, I shed lots of tears throughout our hospital stay. Our pediatrician called a specialist to get help with how to help treat James.

They decided to have James use a CPAP to help his breathing. It was heartbreaking to see James hooked up to this. 

Infection?
They decided to to start James on medicine for an infection because apparently his symptoms could have been a sign of that? The details are a bit foggy, so it's good I didn't wait even longer to write this.

There was a certain number of doses that James had to complete before going home. Once you start the antibiotics, you can't stop them. They figured out it wasn't an infection after some testing, but they had already started the antibiotics and had to continue them.

Glucose Levels
For a while, James' glucose levels were pretty low and the doctors were concerned about them. Every time I fed James, they had to prick his foot and test his blood to see where his levels were at. This was NOT fun for me to watch. To help boost his levels, we mixed some formula with some of my pumped collesterum. I did NOT want James to be bottle-fed because I heard that it's a nightmare to try to breastfeed after that. They suggested using a tube (under a nipple shield) on my breast, so he still kind of had to suck. Luckily we only had to do the tube for a couple of feedings and then his levels were fine. The pricking lasted through Saturday morning though and felt like forever.

On Saturday, I was discharged from the hospital. Saturday was probably the hardest day for me. I had a really hard time with the nurse working in the nursery with James that day. She kept lots of information from us and didn't explain what was going on well at all. We were supposed to know by 12:30 if James was going to be discharged with me as well, but we didn't find out until around 2:30 that he wasn't going to get to leave. Luckily the hospital let us "board" in our same hospital room Saturday evening for only $35, so we didn't have to drive back and forth to the hospital all night.

Jaundice
As if we needed another complication...! We found out that James had jaundice on Saturday and so they started him on treatment under the lights at the hospital. I believe this is the main reason he had to stay in the hospital longer, but I'm not sure? (It's all kind of a blur. Or maybe I intentionally blocked some of these bad memories out of my head.)

This picture doesn't show his arms in the sleeves and isn't velcroed shut. 

Can you see that he peed all over the bed? 

James was finally able to be released on Sunday and we were so excited. 

The outfit James wore home.

However, his jaundice was still bad enough that we had to be sent home with lights and a blanket. At first I didn't think this would be a big deal, but it was. They wanted him under the lights in our house ALL THE TIME except when he was eating. James hated having his eyes coved, his arms in sleeves sticking up, a blanket/tube between his legs, and being Velcroed shut. Can you blame him? Neither of us got much sleep that night because all of his gear kept falling off.

The next week we had to take James into the hospital 5x to have his bilirubin levels checked. It was NOT fun to say the least. It was especially hard when we were told he could be off the lights only to hear a few days later to put him back on. Poor little guy had cuts/sores on his feet from kicking through his uncomfortable outfit. (I also had to add a new complication to breastfeeding which was keeping the blanket and tube on him while he ate which was tricky. It did help improve his levels though to have him constantly under lights.)

Andrew was the best during all of this. When I was an emotional mess, he was there to help me through it all. He walked with me to the "nursery" all night for each feeding. He also gave James his first blessing with my dad which of course I cried through.

I am so glad all of this is over and that we can snuggle our little guy whenever we want. It sure was a rough first week and a half of life, but things have just gone uphill since then. (thank heavens!)

James Kenneth Ditto

Welcome to the world James Kenneth Ditto! 

What a crazy almost 4 weeks it has been! (I started writing this post over 2 weeks ago!) Labor all started 2 and a half weeks earlier than planned at 2:15am on Thursday, March 16th. I woke up and thought I was peeing my pants. I was embarrassed and thought I had reached a new low. Yes, I on average was going to the bathroom numerous times a night, but I didn't think my pee was out of control. Then I realized that it wasn't pee... my water broke! When I woke Andrew up, he didn't believe me. After all, there wasn't any sign of water on our sheets. As soon as I stood up, it all came gushing out. It was not just a little bit of water either. Side note: my Mom's water never broke and so I thought mine wouldn't. Also, thank heavens it didn't break at school. That would have been my worst nightmare.

We were kind of frantic. Our hospital bags weren't quite ready. (Although, the night before I kept having this feeling to finish packing my hospital bag.) In fact, I even went to the store and got a few items that I needed for the hospital. I quickly changed my soaking pants only to soak another pair and we were off to the hospital. (I brought a towel in the car so I wouldn't ruin my seat.)

This next part surprised me... When we got to labor and delivery the two nurses didn't seem to believe me when I told them that my water broke. "You're only 36 weeks and 3 days, oh..." They didn't need much convincing after checking my cervix and lots more water came gushing out. They quickly admitted me and soon Andrew and I found ourselves in a large labor room.

The nurses kept telling me to sleep... as if that was going to happen... I ended up watching T.V. I wasn't having any contractions when we arrived at the hospital, so they immediately gave me petocin. (something I wasn't thrilled about.) Andrew was able to sleep of course. He can sleep through everything. I finally woke him up and told him I wasn't going through these contractions alone. The pain and frequency started to increase and I asked for an epidural.

The anesthesiologist had to go to a C section, so they told me I would have to wait an hour and a half for the epidural or have it soon. I decided to go with sooner rather than later and boy am I glad that I did. I was told that after I was given the epidural, I would feel pain relief within 5-10 minutes. This was not the case with me. In fact, my pain continued to increase and they had to call the anesthesiologist to come back in after about an hour. He gave me another zap of medication and wasn't thrilled he had to come back. He grumbled as soon as he walked in, "I'm certain that I placed that epidural correctly and did nothing wrong. It's just because you're so tall that you can't feel it yet." I was numb only up to about my knees for sometime. It finally did kick in after he came in which was a relief. (I think I originally got my epidural around 6:30am and he came back around 7:30am.)

I think my labor progressed fairly quickly. In fact, the nurse kept leaving and taking forever to come back. She told me she would be right back and 45 minutes later she returned. She was shocked when I told her it felt like I needed to push and when she checked me I was dilated to a 10. I think James would have been born sooner if she had been in the room. Pushing took about an hour. It was exhausting. The nurse kept asking me if I wanted a break and my response would be, "am I close to being done?" I didn't end up taking a break because I wanted him out as soon as possible so I could be done pushing. James arrived at 12:45pm. One comment that upset me during this time made by the nurse was, "If you could put as much effort into pushing as you are into your facial expression that would help." Andrew later told me it looked like a blood vessel on my face was going to break.

Delivering the placenta was a breeze after that. I did need stitches and that part took much longer than I thought. I think they called my tearing a stage 2 out of 3, so it could have been worse, but could have been better. (Thank goodness he didn't wait until his due date to arrive because he probably would have been like 11 pounds!)

Speaking of Andrew... I was much nicer to him than I thought I would be during all of this. I had heard so many horror stories. I'm not saying I was chipper, but later we talked about it and he agreed that I wasn't really mean. Overall, labor went better than I thought it would. I was expecting the worst based on the way everyone talks about it. (But, I am definitely not in ANY rush to go through that again.)

The saddest and probably hardest part for me was right after James was born, they took him down to the "nursery" aka NICU. He was having trouble breathing. He ended up staying in the "nursery" the entire time we were at the hospital. I couldn't hold him the first night which was heartbreaking. I will go into his complications in another post. 

I can't believe I'm a mom. It has been far more challenging than I ever could have imagined, but it is getting easier as time passes. I have a whole new respect for mothers now that I've been one for almost 4 weeks. We are so thrilled to have James with us. He is as cute as I hoped he would be and he has the BEST dad in the universe.

Stay tuned for more.

His sleeping poses are comical.

He loves to sleep with his hands up. We joke that he will be a choir director.

8 pounds 12 ounces

19 inches

I survived. 

Chunky

Birthday Me

Andrew spoiled me so much on my birthday and to be honest, I think it was just what I needed. My birthday flew by and I'm sad I have to wait another year to have such a fun day again. 

I woke up to popcorn by the bedroom door taking me on a scavenger hunt throughout the house. Each clue had a thoughtful note and reason that Andrew loves me written on it. One of my favorites talked about how much Andrew loves and looks forward to hearing me play the piano on Sunday mornings before church. He got me all of my favorites. (Super healthy)

Almost first thing in the morning I noticed a delivery person on our porch. He delivered our new mattress memory foam topper (which was our combined birthday present) as well as a baby pac and play (a present someone sent me for my shower). I was so excited to get to open both of these things! As soon as Andrew woke up, we immediately put the mattress topper on our bed to let it expand. (I sure slept well Saturday night!) Andrew also put the pac and play together in our room. We will be using that instead of a bassinet for the first month or so. 

Our stake had an all day relief society activity. I decided to go to hear the last speaker, Brad Wilcox, and for the lunch. I had never heard Brad Wilcox before and he did a fantastic job. He has a great way of mixing in humor with serious topics. I learned a lot about grace and now feel like I understand it on a whole new level. The lunch after was homemade Cafe Rio which was perfect for my birthday. (We were actually considering going there for dinner, but that made our decision easy.) 

Off to see Brad Wilcox at about 35 weeks pregnant. (Notice my paper chain countdown is getting much smaller. It only includes work days until my due date.)

When I returned from the relief society activity, Andrew finished assembling the baby dresser for the nursery which made me extremely happy. It was fun for me to put the adorable baby clothes I have in all the drawers. 

We decided to go to Texas Roadhouse for dinner. To be honest, I have had lots of my favorite restaurants lately with the book club I'm in and the free birthday meals at various places. The rolls did not disappoint and Andrew graciously told the waitress that I did NOT want to have to sit on the saddle for a loud rendition of "Happy Birthday." (Smart man!) At dinner Andrew surprised me with a pizza cookbook which will be put to use immediately. He also got me some frosting bags/tips so I can frost cupcakes that look classy. (Something I have been wanting.) 

Birthdays mean you can take the day off and not do your hair. (Again, why aren't birthdays more often!?)

After dinner we decided to use a gift card I got for Christmas. So off to Bed, Bath, and Beyond we went. We got super nice sheets to accompany our new memory foam mattress topper. They are divine and I have been sleeping better since we purchased them. (Sleeping can be hard when you can't really roll over and have to pee constantly.)

Andrew suggested a new cookie sandwich place near Texas Roadhouse in Lehi for dessert called, "The Baked Bear." I'm so glad he did! He laughed at me because I told him before we even ordered to make sure to get a punchcard at the cash register. He asked how I knew I would like it, but I could tell. 

Here is the menu. So hard to choose. 

I ended up going with 1 funfetti cookie and 1 oatmeal cinnamon cookie with birthday cake ice cream in the middle. Of course I had them "zap" the cookies to make them soft and hot. It was divine. The wait was well worth it... the line was super long and it was only 6:45pm. 

We then decided to go see "LaLa Land" which I have been wanting to see ever since it came out. I had a hard time justifying this because I know it's almost out of theaters and movies are expensive. We used a gift card though which made me feel okay about the whole thing. I loved the movie as did Andrew (who was skeptical about whether or not he would enjoy it). I was not thrilled with the ending, but maybe reality isn't always what I want it to be. The music was great and I was just thrilled I didn't have to leave to go pee in the middle.

As you can tell, I had a great day. I haven't even mentioned the birthday calls, texts, messages, etc. that I got from friends and family throughout the day. I can't believe I'm 24 and almost a mom. I tried not to think too much about how old I'm getting, but if life continues to be as good as it is, I think I can handle a few more birthdays. 

Birthday Boy

This year I wanted our birthdays to be semi low-key. I have been exhausted and didn't want to add too much more stress than I already have. Andrew's birthday is today and neither of us had to work which was perfect.

I wanted to make Andrew's birthday special not necessarily by the nice gifts I gave him, but by what we did. Andrew is really into board games and he suggested inviting 2 of our good friends, Aaron and Amy (who we met in Rexburg) over. They came last night and we stayed up way too late (1:30am) playing all sorts of games. This is hours later than I usually stay up, so of course we took a nap. Our friends stayed the night. This morning I made cinnamon rolls (taking the place of birthday cake). Andrew loves cinnamon rolls, but I don't make them super often because they are so time consuming. I am thrilled by how well they turned out. I made the dough last night and kept it in the fridge which I had never done before. 

I made reservations to go to Tucanos Brazilian Steakhouse. It is expensive, and I always over-eat to the point of feeling super ill so it's kind of a once a year thing (if that). Andrew and I were both actually able to get our free birthday meals because our friends were nice and split their bill, so one birthday meal could be put on each of theirs. 

Not my favorite picture... This was more to just document the occasion. 

We decided that for gifts this year we would do 1 bigger gift for both of us and we are getting a memory foam topper for our bed. Sooo excited! Because that is kind of boring, I also got Andrew a cheap, smaller gift-- a new game! It's called "Fuse" and it's a cooperative card game. You have to beat it within 10 minutes and you can download an app with a timer and an annoying voice that makes the game even more stressful.

February is just the packed month of fun around here. On Saturday night, we went to Red Robin to get our free birthday burgers. Delicious! And again, a free meal which is always wonderful. We still need to visit Dairy Queen to get a free birthday shake. Next weekend will continue to be a party. My birthday falls on Saturday this year, so neither of us have to work then either. Andrew said it's up to me what we do, so I need to get deciding which is not a strength of mine...

When we found out our baby boy was due in April, we were thrilled. We would like to avoid any more celebrations in the month of February if at all possible. :) 

4 Years

Andrew is and always will be the fun one in our marriage. I think we are a good balance for each other. If it were up to me, we would always do chores and household work on weekends. If it were up to Andrew, we would go out multiple times, catch a few movies, and fit in as much fun as possible. We usually do a little bit of both.

Having said that, for our 4 year anniversary in December, I was fine just going to dinner or getting a pizza. Andrew had different ideas and wanted to do something extravagant claiming we never do anything for our anniversary. We decided to use the gift-card he got from his company for Christmas to go to "The Melting Pot." We had been once before, but not for the main course and we weren't paying.

This time, we went all in and got the full-on course including appetizers, drinks, entrees, and desserts. We enjoyed our time together and it was definitely memorable and something different than just going to Red Robin.

Here are a couple pictures to document our evening: (Andrew, proof that we DID do something for our anniversary in 2016. :)

This showed up on the screen while we were waiting to be seated.

This weekend I was having a hard time. (I blame pregnancy hormones and a difficult work week.) Andrew kept trying to suggest a variety of things we could do to try to cheer me up. Nothing sounded fun or even good to eat. This is rare for me. Luckily after a while Andrew convinced me that we should go out to lunch to cheer me up. He even suggested going to "In-N-Out" which says a lot because that isn't his favorite, but he knows that I like it. We went and it definitely improved my mood and Andrew even said it was better than he remembered. 

I'm so glad to be married to Andrew! He knows me well and knows what I need. He gives me something to look forward to after work every day and he makes the weekends fly by because I enjoy spending time with him so much. Here is to many more memorable anniversaries!